she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
wow bdsm is so cute
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
