Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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