How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize