apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
