They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
