Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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