Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
