After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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