my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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