Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
