I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Randomize
