That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
