Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
