she was so not down for the gang bang
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
