my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I need to calm my uterus...
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Randomize
