he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
He better not be in your backpack
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
