I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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