how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
