me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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