you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
