I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
nutella sex= disaster
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I believe in your delicious
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
