I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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