I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
