As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
How naked do you want me to be?
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