my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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