i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
