wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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