I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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