I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Randomize
