Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
