You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
foreskin is a definite game changer
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
