My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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