If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
