her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
