Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
