I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
