guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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