Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
