The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
that is very illegal...i love you.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
