jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
