so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
