I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
