Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Randomize
