They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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