I CAN MOONWALK!
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
