can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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