Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
And then he peed in my hair
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