Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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