the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Randomize
