Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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